sexual abuse what is wrong is wrong by Lanre olusola

Sexual Abuse – What is Wrong, Is Wrong

Sexual assault is any form of sexual violence, including rape, child molestation, incest, and similar forms of non-consensual sexual contact. It is any unwanted sexual activity, with perpetrators using force, making threats or taking advantage of victims. Most sexual abuse experts agree sexual abuse is never only about sex. Instead, it is often an attempt to gain power over others.

There is now an epidemic of sexual assault evident through domestic violence, work place harassment, and rape. Sexual assault is a serious and devastatingly violent criminal behavior. It often leaves a traumatic scar on the victim that no amount of time heals or lets the victim forget.

As a Life Coach and Psychotherapist, I work on so many cases of abuse with women who are victims (survivors) and I can tell you that it is very traumatic and destructive. Immediate reactions to sexual abuse include shock, fear or disbelief. Long-term symptoms include anxiety, fear or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression and other mental and emotional health challenges. While efforts to treat sex offenders have been somewhat futile, psychological interventions for survivors — especially therapy — has proved effective.

Every day, we hear new stories and allegations of rape, abuse or assault perpetrated by men in authority and power and we as a people, have grown thick skin or have become indifferent to this menace. Hence, the victims suffer double jeopardy through injustice repeated several times, going about life with a sense of lack of psychological, emotional and physical safety and protection.

It’s time to do better as a society

We have to STAND up against this! If we are going to build a great nation, we have to start being our brother’s keeper. We can’t continue to be cynical and afraid to speak up against injustice. It is time our culture stopped making excuses for these dishonorable perpetrators. It is time our culture stopped victimizing and stigmatizing the victims of abuse.

Rape and abuse are very destructive.

When it happens in our schools, we turn the other way.

When it happens in the workplace, we do nothing because of fear or getting sacked.

When it happens in our churches and mosques, we keep quiet because we quote silly scriptures that don’t apply like “Touch not my anointed and do my prophets no harm” as if the prophet is supposed to commit those atrocities in the first place.

We must now start putting accountability measures in place for the clergy because it now seems, some are painting others in bad light. The church leadership and umbrella body needs to start speaking now against what is wrong from Abuse, to Financial Misappropriation, Excessive Living to the Lack of professional expertise to counsel people who have issues etc.

I have spoken to a few pastors and I sincerely believe that there are great pastors in Nigeria and I know a few of them who want to do right but now is the time to start by standing on the side of TRUTH and say “WHAT IS WRONG IS WRONG”.

Together, let’s start saying NO to what’s wrong in the the our places of worship, in our offices, industries, in our communities and in our country at large. After all as Christians, shouldn’t we always be thinking WHAT WILL JESUS DO?Isn’t He the one we are supposed to model our lives and ministries after and be accountable to?

So let’s all start thinking about how we can:

  1. Provide professional support to victims
  2. Protect and care for victims (survivors)
  3. Bring justice into our system and encourage victims to go all the way to get justice
  4. Address the weaknesses of the perpetrators and get professional help for them
  5. Hold them accountable on all levels
  6. Condemn and speak against what is wrong

The traumatic effect of abuse or rape is very real we MUST collectively work towards stopping it. Parents must take more responsibility for their children’s safety. Everyone must take the position.

My team of coaches, therapists and I are available to support victims of sexual assault. Email


The Catalyst


  • Gabriel June 29, 2019 Reply

    Well said coach. Our spiritual leadership is not a cloak or license for abuse.

  • Remy Daniels June 29, 2019 Reply

    My thought and my concern exactly. I wonder why non of the “big pastors” have not spoken to condemn this dastardly act. I’m a father and I worry everyday about the safety of my/our little girls. Church is supposed to heal and support people, but reverse is the case these days! Where is our safe nest? Who are our guiding Angels in human form? How else or where else should be our safe haven? They distract you from living the life you want and yet they live it and live it carelessly. They blame the government and never blame themselves when it’s their turn. Where are we as Christians? Where is our Values? Where is the life of Christ in us? At what point did we miss it? And what is the gospel of Christ teaching us????

  • Adeyinka Igbani June 29, 2019 Reply

    I agree with you a 100%. What is wrong is wrong! And people who should speak up on this must not shy away from discussing it, so that together, we can all find a solution that will last and that will help to dissuade those who are in the practice of doing these things that are WRONG.

  • Titilayomi June 29, 2019 Reply

    Finally, a Christian man stands up for women.
    Nobody is untouchable
    do the crime, do the time.
    No abused woman ever remains the same.
    That singular incident is like a death sentence if they don’t get help
    Thank you Lanre Olushola.

  • Lola Udabor June 29, 2019 Reply

    This is spot on. Accountability is needed. Systems and processes need to be put in place. People can’t keep getting away with wrong behaviour. It is unacceptable. “Spirituality’ or is it religion should not be used as a blanket.
    Perpetrators need to be held accountable.

  • Uwem Eyo June 30, 2019 Reply

    Exactly. The spiritual leaders should speak up against what is wrong and be made accountable. Good one Coach. More light to you.

  • Tee June 30, 2019 Reply

    Well said. What is wrong is wrong.
    It takes only one story or incident to taint a girls reputation but you need almost an army of witnesses before a man who has committed a sexual crime s brought to book.
    We need to stand up for each other against tyranny in any form. I honestly hope this is given the level of seriousness it deserves in our society .

  • Efua Elens-Edeh July 1, 2019 Reply

    Rape is a traumatic experience i don’t wish on my enemy. Spiritual Leaders need to be held accountable for their actions so that victims are empowered to stand up. Great Article coach.

  • Olubukola Olunloyo July 2, 2019 Reply

    I stand against sexual abuse and non consentual sex

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